Note to myself

I was googling and reading previous posts by my friends and coaches back then in MCKK. And I started to realise the sparks that I have lost after MCKK. Should not blame anyone nor KYUEM, but the blame shall lie on myself

Sometimes, reading all these made you realise how much you miss the old version of yourself. And how much you miss some people, but nothing you could do at the moment because things started to become so awkward.

And I started to realise the focus + determination that I have lost along the way. If I could turn the clock back, I will

Hating It

Humans have never been satisfied with what they have. Please think about others too. The world is not just about us. It is about other people. Dont ask everything to be your way only

Till We Meet Again

It is your birthday and I dont know what else to say to you. I have said every single thing about you to the point that I have lost myself. Just one thing I hope from you, may you find happiness there. And i hope you can let me move on. Just leave me alone for now, so I dont have to think about you again

Insyallah, God has promised that one day we shall see each other again. Till then, lots of love from me. I miss you, totally miss you but I will not cry like I used to. You will always be my love and sweet heart, will always be because you are the only one who totally understands me

Random Thought

She has lost both of her parents. But yet, she looks so strong. She was in the same A-levels college. Even when the day was raining for me, I still could remember she was the one providing the umbrella to me, and I also remembered your advice to me when we were talking at MPH in KYUEM

When you met her, you wouldnt know what she has gone through in life. The first moment I met her, we were laughing, and we used to talk in the cafe. She would hide every single tear and joy. And yet, her heart is sreaming

i was stalking her blog just now. Read a poem she wrote to both of her parents. And I could see that she really missed them.

When the world gets tougher for her, she only gets stronger day by day. She didnt make it to the UK together with her closest friends. But, that did not stop her to work harder. When I gave up in faith after the A-levels result, she could still give comfort words through sms. And she's now working hard to get a second chance to get abroad - maybe Canada

Im not good at giving compliments, nor telling people that I relly admire them. This is just another way of telling you how much I admired you

You know who you are. I dont have to tell you. This is a random thought. Sometimes, it is very hard to tell you how much I admire you. Because we have never been serious to each other. And everytime I wanted to be serious to you, I couldnt because the way I know you is different, you are such an easy going girl

This is not a post to say I love you. This is just a post of how thankful I am to know you as my friend. Good luck in whatever you do Shikin. (look again, we cannot talk about serious issues)

F**K

I should never say the F word. But, the heart needs to be fed, and the brain too. Will be back after the exam. Oh gosh! I havent written about Amsterdam

Mediocrity

Enough being a mediocre for 3 years. I need to push myself more. Being a mediocre is not good. It only puts myself in misery

To Whom It May Concern

Dear My Person,
Last night we had the longest conversation ever. Almost 6 hours talking to you through phone felt almost nothing for me. I called you last night because I wanted to tell you that we had to put a distance between us. It is not that I dont like you, it is because I love you so much that I know when is the right time to say good bye. My feeling for you is overwhelming, too strong that I tend to lose myself in you. I will always remember you, will always do. But I need to think of myself. Naim told me to put myself first, even above you no matter how much I loved you.

But last night, I finally realised that you actually felt the same thing for me. You wanted us to be closer, and for that reason i think I could not get rid of you. But i shall wait for the perfect moment to let you go

What we have is never wrong. What you feel about me is also not wrong at all. It is just what I feel about you is a mistake. But I cannot afford to put our relationship in risk by telling you how much i feel and care about you at the moment. I shall keep the feeling to myself and let God help me to deal with it.

Like you say, things happen for a reason for yet we dont know why. You tell another person the same thing, but you yourself are still in love with that person because your love to that person is never wrong, but my love to you is wrong. I just wish I can be at that person's place whom you love the most so that I dont have to workd hard to get your attention

I hope you dont forget me as you promised. For now, I really need to focus on my studies. Otherwise, the same thing will happen again.

This is what I wanted to tell you when you wanted to try to get the person in our conversation. But I was afraid last night you might never like me anymore

All of us have learnt that things change, people change, and it does not mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go does not mean giving up. It means accepting that certain things were not meant to be

Maybe I should say the same to me. I will and till then, let us leave it there

FOR NOW, LET US ENJOY THE MOMENT THAT WE HAVE TOGETHER. Otherwise, we will fight again, just like we always do

Warmest Love,
Zulikhwan.

You know who you are if you happen to read my blog

#TravelNote: Brussels and Bruges, Belgium (the country I will never visit again)

1) When I first arrived in Brussels, I can feel a very bad vibe there. But Im not so sure why

2) This is a country with 157 races and ethnics. A very cosmopolitan place, and I would say more cosmopolitan and diverse than London until I was not so sure whether I was in a European or Middle East country

3) I have to say that Brussels is ugly. It looks a bit like Pudu, but much dirtier than Pudu. Even the local people there also say that Brussels is ugly. This is quoted from a local guy there ' we know Brussels is ugly but we love it. Even if we dont like it, we just live with it'. Even though this is one of EU capitals, it is not well maintained

4) And because it was so ugly, we decided to go to Bruges on the next day to give a different impression of the place like In Bruges movie

5) Bruges is a lot nicer (maybe because it is located at the countryside). It looks a bit like St Andrews. It is worth visiting Bruges than Brussels. We were surprised because Bruges is a totally different entity. A spontanenous trip to Bruges should cost you around 27 euros. However, you can get a coupon of 10 rides for only 50 euros for students below 26. This coupon can be shared with many people. Since there were 3 of us, we only use 6 rides (to and fro). This method is way cheaper because it costed us around 17 euros

6) Bruges looks like a typical British village that you can find a lot in Scotland. If you have been to a Scottish village, Bruges is not worth a visit because Scottish villages are way better! The only thing I hate about Bruges is the smell! It is so smelly and sourvenirs are quite expensive

7) Bruges is a UNESCO site. A must visit place there is the Lace Factory. I bought a handmade handbag for mom for only 20 euros. Very cheap if you know how to bargain!

8) Speaking of Brussels, there is still a nice side of the town where you can get Chanel, Versace, Bally, Gucci and Jimmy Choo (I forgot the name of the road). You can also see the whole view of Brussels from that side - I think it is where the Palace of Justice is located

9) Sourvenirs there are a lot cheaper (again if you know how to bargain). I get a decent fridge magnet which should be 4 euros, for only 1.50 euros!

10) They speak many languages which sometimes you dont understand!

11) Food is extremely cheap. A decent lunch costs us 3 euros! There is a street near the city centre with full of decent restaurants that you might want to visit!

12) Beware of the people there! Most of them look like rapists and you really, really have to be aware of the people. A spanish guy was asking us the direction to the tram station. He then said thank you so he hugged Naim saying it was a Spanish style (by the way, i quite doubted he is a spanish judging from the accent). It turned out he tried to steal Naim's wallet! Thank God Naim realised and so Naim was pushing him away with his butts! Haha

13) When we were walking down the sreet, a stranger invited me to get into his car because he wanted to have sex with me!

14) Overall, it was not a pleasant experience for me in Belgium. but it is unfair since I am just talking based on what I saw and experienced. Somebody might experience it the other way. Nevertheless, you should visit this country so that you will be thankful with what we have in Malaysia. A 2 day trip is more than enough.

Last stop! Amsterdam

#TravelNote: Luxembourg (The tale of a landlock kingdom)

1) Have you ever been to a kingdom in a fairy tale, in which it has a massive defense wall, connected with a viaduct and full of secret roads? Well, if you do want to go to a country like that, Luxembourg should be your choice!

2) The whole country is a UNESCO site. So, you can really, really be sure that this country looks exactly like the kingdom in all the fairy tales! I really mean it. It is a truly European country, with most of them are whites and I havent seen any Pakistanis or Indians here. Most of the tourists are also whites! The temperature is quite low (you can expect it to be 0 degree even during Easter), with most of the places are like the castles in the fairy tales

3) Most of them speak French (which is a major influence here), Spanish and some speak English since English is also a compulsory subject in schools.

4) The map is quite hard to understand since the town is also divided into 2, the upper part which is located at the above ground (just like in the fairy tales where the castle will be on the top), the lower grounds for most of the houses. They have walking roads connecting both sides, a lift for disabled too. And be aware of many secret roads, including between the houses and also tunnels!

5) It is totally a unique experience because I have never been to a place like this. I have been to several places in the UK, Dublin and Paris, but nothing can beat the beauty and uniqueness of Luxembourg!

6) This is a place with most Michelin awarded restaurants. You might want to expect the food to be a bit expensive. However, if you know how to look for cheap food, you can just spend up to less than 10 euros for lunch and dinner - I did that! hehe

7) I recommend you to stay in the youths hostel located at the lower part of the country/city. It is easily accessible, very very nice and comfortable, cheap with breakfast included ( and free washing machines!)

8) I recommend you to have most of your meals from a restaurant called Quick Hamburger since it is very cheap. A set of 2 fish o fillet burgers will only cost you 7 euros - and bear in mind that McD, Subway and most restaurants also have students discount. Ask for it. Just bring your passport and show your visa!

9) The casemates bock is a must visit place since it is one of the most amazing defence walls I have ever visited. it is very long (ask for the students price for only 2.80 euros). You can expect the view to be like in the History Channel and it can surely beat Disneyland!

10) Most of the people here speak French. They understand English, but they cannot talk back to you.

11) Bargaining is not common here. We tried to bargain several times, but we couldnt, ended up the shop owner told here that it is not common here

12) Luxembourg has the highest GDP in the world (if Im not mistaken), and the only country which practises sovereign grand duchy. The grand duke of Luxembourg is also a handsome and smart man =)

13) I recommend readers to do a day trip here since you can easily get to everywhere in a day (it is a small country), especially when you visit France, just drop by at Luxembourg for a day. It is something that you wont regret coming here. I believe many people have never heard about Luxembourg since it is very expensive and small. But you wont regret it. the view is sooo stunning. you can move around by just walking! A must visit place for a truly European experience!

14) owh yeah. Souvenirs are also expensive here. You better buy them from the Saturday market they have in the Place'd Armes =)

15) Luxembourg is pronounced as Lu- Zhim - Burg, and not La- Zhem - Berg. A french woman corrected my pronunciation =)

16) Master several Lambourgish words wont cause any harm. For instance = Moien means hello, Swatrz Dir Englesih = can you speak English?

Next Stop: Brussels, Belgium (okay, I have uploaded several pictures here and for the post before this since my reader asked to do so. for more amazing pictures, please stalk my FB - after the exam in may! hehe =) ). First three is Paris and the next two is Luxembourg!