#TravelNote: Paris,France (the way I see Love from the top of Eiffel Tower)

1) The food here is very cheap if you know how to get it: we got 1 whole roasted chicken for only 5 euros. Everyday, we only spend 5 euros on lunch, breakfast and dinner.

2) You need to have a very strong bargaining skill. Key rings before bargain = 50 cents. After: 1 euro = 7 pieces. What Naim and I did was we challenged ourselves who could get the cheaper ones

3) Their English is very bad. We master several easy words like bonjour, merci, and can you speak English - just to get much cheaper sourvenirs for family and friends

4) Scamming is quite common in Paris. Dont get dragged into one of their scams

5) 2 visitors from China trusted us with 1400 euros to get 3 wallets from Louis Vuitton outlet since the outlet there only allows maximum of 1 piece per customer (somebody told me that it only applies to visitors from China). We went into the outlet, and had a thought it was a scam, then went out and told them the wallets ware out of stock (for the first time we went into LV outlet and in fact, were being nicely treated by the workers there)

6) Students studying in the UK (including international ones) should know that it is free to get into Louvre (and please ask the people near the ticket counter, not the security guards as they dont understand English so they tend to misunderstand what we say). Bring your passport too and there is also youths price for the Eiffel Tower (3.20 euros)

7) French men and women are very, very gorgeous,more gorgeous and nicer than those in London - Im talking about the physical beauty as well as the outfits. (if in London, a 60 year old man may look a bit messy, in France they look very smart and well-dressed).

8) Versailles is the most amazing garden I have ever seen while Lourve is the largest museum/palace I have ever visited too. Not to forget, it was also my first time climbing up Eiffel Tower. You might want to just walk in Paris rather than taking Metro because it is cheaper (well it is free actually) and you will never tired looking at the architectures (and places for photos too =P)

9) French people are extremely nice even though they cannot speak English very well. Reall like them. 5 stars for that. However, the road is quite dangerous, especially when you want to cross it, not like the UK. They will just ignore you even though it is the green light for you to cross it =)

10)the Abercrombrie and Fitch mansion in Champs Elysees is a must visit place. Hehe. You will be amazed because the mansion is full of hot and shirtless male models standing and dancing there to attract customers and for us to take photos - still could not believe I actually took a picture with a male model like those in TVs!!!!!

11) Notre Dame is the most magnificient church I have ever visited. It is so massive and the architecture is so detailed - taking hundred of years to be built

12)Overall, Paris is very,very,very cheap (if you know how to bargain and get the cheap food), a bit overrated (it is quite smelly and the metro stinks a lot), ancient/old (well some say it is ugly), divided into two: cheap and expensive areas (the cheap one is where you can get pretty nice and cheap stuff and the expensive one is where Arch de Triomphe, Abercrombie and Fitch mansion, Gucci, LV and other high class fashion outlets are located)

13)A bit dissapointed with Paris. Nevertheless, it is more exciting than London (especially the night life here) and there is always something to do and visit here (including stalking people =P)

14) Paris will be my annual visiting place! - for more exciting photos, please look at my FB after my exam =)

Next stop: Luxembourg

Im a Malaysian, not a Singaporean

Most of my friends think Im from Singapore. They say I look like a Singaporean. I am not so sure whether its something good or bad, but Im from Malaysia and Im proud to be a Malaysian.

I have to admit Singapore and Malaysia has many similarities, because Singapore was a part of Malaysia. Due to several reasons (which I found so biased if I quote from the History textbook in secondary school) Singapore wanted to seperate from Malaysia (something Tun didnt agree on until he publicly critised T. Abdul Rahman for economic reason). Singapore and Malaysia do have this so called hate-love relationship. We hate each other, be it the country of the people. However, deep inside, we do have manu cultural similarities that we find it much easier to mingle with them. But, for whatever reason it is, there is no doubt we should appreciate whatever happened in the past, and try to spur love around the world

Im currently on a Eurotrip with my friends to 4 countries. Im just taking a break from medicine to feel relief n relaxing a bit (even though Im actually doing Clinical Skills at the moment ehe) and my final will be afterwards.

Kudos to MCKK juniors for SPM. True enough we should be the best boarding school in Malaysia. However, dont be pressured to be the first in SPM (but that doesnt mean we have to be mediocre). Budak koleq has never taught to be a bookworm, but we are taught to be leaders (this may sound a bit cliche - we are taught about brotherhood - something which is starting to dissapear from budak koleq). My mother's friend is an ex-TKC. My mom once complained about MCKK's academic achievement to her. She then told me, It is okay they dont do very well in SPM because they have never taught to be so. But once they have fully grown into adults, they will bring changes to the country. For whatever reason, choose whatever you want to do the best. Good luck!

I also want to wish good luck to my KY juniors for their trials next week especially Safrizal, Nana, Wawa, Hanis, Syafiq Akmal and Garnet juniors. Hope to see familiar faces in the UK later on

* im starting to get excited for Summer. Hopefully everything turns out fine

Thinking too Much

I think I do have a problem with myself. I always tend to think tooo much on many things. Critically and hardly. Not just on personal issues, but also national problems (which are out of my concern at the moment) like corruption and the next election

Dad always told me, I have this side of myself, which sometimes can be negative and sometimes can be positie. Ignorance is never a bliss. Everything is my business and I will take everything seriously. Dad asked me to take some time just for myself to relax and enjoy myself. He advised me to go for a break and come back starting a fresh start

He is right. I should be more focus and do not take everything seriously. I should. It is our nature of being a human being an sometimes we cannot change everything the way we want it to be (sometimes I also wish to be the next prime minister. I swear this is too much and not funny, but this is who I am)

The Road to be a Doctor

People always say that being a doctor is always hard, and comparing with other courses, medicine is a lot tougher than you can imagine, especially when you are trying to adjust yourself with the course

At first, I did not believe it. I thought that they exaggerated a lot about the course. And I thought that medicine was so over rated. And only now, I started to realise how tough medicine can be. No wonder why this course has the highest number of students with mental problems, not to mention those who commit suicide.

And now, I am seriously considering becoming an underwear model. I dont need a degree, just a pretty face and beautiful body. How easy my life can be

p/s: please forgive my innocence and random thoughts. It is 3 am here and I need a little break. Hehehe

My Personal Statement

I have actually promised to myself that if I get an offer from the UK medical school, I shall upload my personal statement. Today, one of my juniors asked me to give opinions about his personal statement (even though it is quite late), and this post came across my mind for future reference. Bear in mind, this personal statement was written 3 months before Lily passed away. Enjoy and comment is appreciated =)

**************

Like any brother, I also want to hear my younger sister calling 'Ikhwan' for the first time - this is the reason why I have never lost faith in the power of medicine. She is mentally and physically ill, suffering from thalassemia Major. Even after partial liver removal and Desferal injections every day, her prospect of getting better is minimal. Growing up with her, I felt helpless and worried at the same time. Yet, it was this feeling that drove me to see medicine more than just about palliative care, but as a worthwhile life-changing experience.

I also have a deep appreciation of life. Hence, helping others to experience theirs gives me a sense of accomplishment. Learning Chemistry and Biology began to introduce knowledge of biochemical reactions in the body and application of theories, while studying Mathematics and Physics has developed logical thinking skills. Reading medical journals and conducting medical forums on abortion and euthanasia in my college, coupled with gaining a High Distinction in the National Chemistry Quiz, have nurtured my curiosity for all the complexities and medical mysteries of the human body. I feel blessed to have been awarded a Central Bank scholarship to read medicine in the UK after being one of the Nation's Top Achievers at SPM level.

My attachments at general hospitals have affirmed my decision to be a doctor. Witnessing operations, such as a transurethral resection of a bladder tumour and laparoscopy, taught me that this vocation involves not just healing patients physically, but also instilling hope in them, especially when they are on the verge of losing hope in what medicine can offer. Speaking personally to the patients in the oncology wards and attending a mortality meeting brought me closer to the patients, thus helping me to improve my bedside manner. I believe what I have gained so far has partially prepared me for the challenges ahead.

My research in Autism for the Biology project has led me to volunteer at community centres for children with learning disabilities. There, I learnt not only to converse with people with various medical problems, but also to understand them - directly improving my communication skills. Guiding Ross, a Downs-syndrome patient, to go to the toilet independently taught me about humility and empathy, values which will help me to treat patients with love and care, rather than merely out of a duty.

As the Secretary of the Red Crescent Society and Chairman of my school's paramedic team, my active service gave me an early insight into first-aid treatment, hence improving my decision-making and manual dexterity. It was the most satisfying feeling to see my friend recovering from a sports injury, knowing that I had provided assistance. As a Debate Captain, 'thinking out of the box' comes naturally to me as I always try to give coherent arguments without forgetting my conscience. I also learnt not just about organising skills, but how to handle pressure in the most difficult situations by representing Malaysia in the Asia-Pacific Young Leaders Summit. I am currently doing the Duke of Edinburgh Award in which I have challenged myself to perform beyond the confines of my physical and mental norms by having to survive in the jungle for a few nights. As someone who did not even know how to return a ball, I have progressed to volleyball state level, through teamwork and perseverance. Taking a full-time visual arts class is an outlet for my creativity. All these experiences contribute to my holistic development as a person.

My interest in paediatrics will hopefully open doors to build my own foundation programme for 'special' children like my sister, inspiring them to achieve their dreams despite their physical and mental limitations. I wish to discover more about the science of humanity which is always with us - Medicine.

Aspiration, well at least

I was randomly stalking one of my closest friends, and he mentioned about how focus I am, with huge aspirations and determinations. Maybe he is right, I need to have a bit of wake up call, and I start my new resolution by giving fresh air to this blog.

This blog has been a part of my life. It needs something to stay the way it is. A tale of my personal experiences and opinions. A wake up call is good, and whether we can stay with it or not, it is a different set of stories. What is more important is to at least, try to do everything possible.

Maybe it takes someone to tell us how much we have changed

The shame of the unspoken truth when being told once to people

I finally couldnt control my feeling anymore. I totally miss my late sister. I still can remember vividly the moment I blamed God for taking her too soon especially during the most important phase of my life. And finally I let the tears conquer me when I joined the usrah last thursday. It wasn't only the tear of regret, regretting for whatever I did in the past (things which I shall not write it down here) more importantly the tear of anger, being angry to myself for letting the emotions control me. My closest friend once said things happen for a reason for yet we dont know why. But up until know, I still wonder whats the reason behind it. I still cannot figure it out, for yet I was left alone in the world of misery and confusion.

Kak Ada (which I refer as cikgu since she's leading our usrah) told me that she knew something was bothering me the moment she met me, and only last thursday when I burst into tears in front of her.She said apart from whatever I potrayed on the outside, I do have a pure heart. And I still want to believe her. But I couldnt keep myself from asking her, why God is doing this to me after everything He gave to me. She asked me to believe in qada and qadar, and shes ready to help me if I need her help.

Again, im not a type of person who will join any usrah. Well in fact when I was in KY and MCKK, I would run away from joining these activities. Anyone who knows me would say the same thing. Only in Aberdeen, I finally met these people, who arent as judgmental as I thought they would be. But up until now, they still couldnt help me to find the answer, more importantly my purpose of life.

True enough, my sister passed away 1 year ago, and for any normal person, I should have been recovered by now. Some would say I'm taking it so hardly, and some would say I'm a bit emotional. Yes I admit I'm taking it so hard on myself, as for me everything happened so fast and I'm still in the journey of finding the reason behind it. I'm not blaming God for this as He has given every minute for me to reflect and think, but the blame lies on me as I always ask myself, why I still keep Lily hunting me. And still letting myself be drowned in the shadow of the mistakes done in the past. Everything happens so fast, that I don't have time to properly sit and talk with my family. I already discussed with my regent, Dr Affleck as I told her that I couldnt continue like this. This may not affect my academics, but I start to believe it begins to conquer my personality as I can easily get distracted and not working hard enough to achieve my goal. I'm not used to be like this. My personality is strong that everyone who knows me, would have told me the same thing. I now started to be a mediocre, and let destiny take me to wherever she wishes to. Dr Affleck suggested me to take a year off from anything, and I'm seriously thinking about that. As for now, I just want to focus on getting 1st year a glorious one, which I dont have the determination to do so. Up until now, I hope whoever reads this, won't let themselves be in the same misery as I am.

Tok's health is getting worse as she is undergoing another cataract operation for her eyes. On top of that, shes still in the battle fighting with the cancer. Owh Lord, I still have my trust in you and only to you we will return. But I still dont know what to do if I lose Tok, who has been taking care of me since I was small. And please show me the reason behind it... Not only letting me in this world of doubt-ness