;-)

Whenever we make any decision in our life, there will always be the pros and cons of it. And whether we like it or not, we have to deal with it. It is our nature to always find what is the best for us. We can keep on asking for more, but certain things are not meant to be for us. We might despise ourselves for spending too much time, wasting too many opportunities hoping that things would exactly turn out the way we want it to be. Again, dealing with emotions and feelings is always the hardest thing. Saying good bye may not be the best answer, but rather than being hurt badly, definitely it is a good way. It doesnt mean you give up, nor try to forget it, but it always means you hope that you can treasure the memory better, hoping that one day, your special one will realise about it

So, this is how it feels to be back!

After 2 weeks in Malaysia, I finally had the chance to write this post. The first week was busy with my auntie's wedding and my sister asked me to be in Penang for a while since I have never been to her new house

It is good to be back. Things have changed so much, so do the responsibilities that come along with them. It is true that anywhere we go, home is always where the heart is.

So, how does my family do? Im not so sure how to put it in words. Of course the cliche answer from me, since Lily passed away, the joy has lost. My parents are getting older and so does my grandmother. With only my 12 year old brother at  home, I find that I have to take care of many things since I arrived here. It is not that I dont want to spend any minute with my fellow friends, especially Fendy who keeps on asking me to meet him, but I do have many things to do at home, from teaching Amin for UPSR, to doing lots of house works. My parents are getting older, that they tend to forget many things and they tend to wait for people to do for them. So, I have to prioritize them first, before trying to squeeze in between meeting my dear friends.

At the moment, I am writing on one article asked by my dear batchmate, David from Aberdeen. I shall be posting the article here soon.

Closure of My Awesome First Year in Aberdeen-licious

Finally, I finished my first year of medical school. It was hard, I must say. So, what makes medical school very hard? For an obvious reason, I must say that medical school is very competitive. Getting into a medical school is already competitive, especially medical schools with good reputations. I guess what makes it hard is the fact that medical school is a centre of competitions, with those studying medicine are mostly top scorers, and those who are full of confidence. In my batch only, half of us are graduate/mature students with most of them already have a degree/master, whereas the other half is those who come fresh from high schools, but have a dozen of As under their belts.

Studying for the first year is tough I must say, the fact that it is a transition period of you from the so called memorizing technique of high schools. What makes medicine hard is also the fact that you have to know exactly so many things, not just memorizing them, more importantly to be able to understand the gist of the topic very well. We are not scientists, who want to know every single reaction in the body, nor the famous philosophers, who deal with creative thinking and ideas. We are healers, in which we deal with scientific and correct facts. Added to that, we need to be able to have great people’s skills, so that we can provide comfort to the patients.

In my university, they will teach you everything including how to greet the patients. So what makes it hard for me? I guess it is a simple reason of having an initial thought about changing my career – after losing my confidence in becoming a doctor plus seeing my potentials in other professions (as suggested by Zamri).

But after the hard first year, I finally realize that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m totally geared up for the second year, Insya allah I want to be the changing agent to the world in medicine. It is still a long way to go for me, and hopefully my passion will continue to glow and blossom day by day

As I told Norain Ishak before this, studying medicine is like being in a relationship with your loved one. You cannot take it easy, otherwise your love will run away from you, nor being too hard on yourself or on the partner, because that will create a massive tension in both of you. Treat it like you know it will always be there for you, it is just a matter you making it more interesting or not.

To tell you the truth, for the first semester, I always study like I don’t want to fail and I always have in my mind that studying for medicine is the hardest thing. It never works that way. Yes, we have to be realistic and we need to know medicine is hard, but don’t always remind yourself it is hard. After all, this is what we want to do for the rest of our lives, and we don’t want to always be in misery

Getting a decent degree is our priority, making our own circle of friends from the same course is another thing. You dont want to end up studying and not understanding things alone.

Have trust in what you do, God will always help you.