..the weekend..

Sometimes.... things just dont turn out the way we want them to be...

My friend, Syazwan passed away on Thursday... Syazwan was a nice guy (and will always be).. He will always be remembered as a type of guy who will always smile to you. He will always be remembered as an easy going guy. And my conversation with him on Friday last 2 weeks would always be a meaningful one.

Lily is in ICU again. Time is getting shorter for me to be with her. It was during my family vacation when she suddenly became unconscious. Parents took her to Cameron Highlands Hospital and the hospital decided to send her to Alor Setar Hospital as her data is there. This is the fifth time she’s in ICU. But this one would be different. Before we went to Cameron, my parents already told me to use this time wisely. Time is getting shorter and the doctors say that they couldnt do anything much. She slept with me during the night when she became unconscious. She was unconscious in my hug. I hugged her during that time, feeling reluctant to let her go. We all went back to Alor Setar on Saturday. Parents asked me to go back to my college because even when I was there, i could do nothing much. I took the 11.45 pm bus to tg malim.

I know she will leave me soon, and Im prepared for that moment to happen. If God loves her more, I am willing to let her go. I really love her. She’s everything to me. I still recalled the moment when she was born 14 years ago. My mom said that my sister is special. When she was born, my mom got a promotion to be the head of account department in the Ministry of Education. She was the size of my palm when i first saw her in the hospital. I could only look her from a distant because i was totally afraid to touch her. During that time, i was afraid if i touched her, it would harm her. But mom gave her to me. And i never felt as happy as hugging her, carrying her to everywhere around the hospital. And everytime i came back from the school, i always asked my dad to bring me to the hospital just to look at her.

And like any brother, i really want hear her calling me for the first time. I really want to see her walking, like normal children. But i know, that is almost impossible and for that reason, i never lose my faith in the power of medicine.

Lily is still in ICU by the time I wrote this. Please pray, hoping that she will get better soon. I know she will be fine because she has a very strong will. She has been fighting this disease for 14 years and i know she will definitely win the battle this time around.